What's Going On.

Return of the Idol

Kelly Clarkson returns to the scene after her last album, My December, failed to deliver on the American Idol's first two releases. Way back in 2002, Miss Clarkson set the record for largest one-week jump on Billboard's Hot 100 chart. Her debut single, "A Moment Like This" leaped from #52 to #1, only to be outdone by everyone from Maroon 5 to Britney Spears. Clarkson reclaims her record this week as her new single, "My Life Would Suck Without You" flies to number one after debuting last week at 97. It's bubblegum music, apropos considering that her latest image overhaul has her looking like like the poster child for candy-coated pop stars everywhere.

Don't Quit Your Day Job Weezy

Apparently the self-proclaimed "Greatest Rapper Alive" - who doesn't say that these days? - wants to be a rock star in addition to gazillion-selling rapper. Kanye proved he could do more than just rap with 808s and Heartbreak...why not Weezy? I'll tell you why: his first single, "Prom Queen" is nowhere close to 'Ye's "Love Lockdown" or "Heartless" in quality or likability. I admire Lil Wayne for his ambition, but damn dude, you are not Prince. I'm not talking "Purple Rain" Prince. I'm talking, Weezy isn't even "Under The Cherry Moon" Prince.

If Teleportation Were an Option...

I would be in San Francisco this weekend. Specifically at Sketchfest to witness the full reunion of The State, that little comedy troupe that had an MTV show for a bit in the nineties. For the first time in 14 years, all 11 members will be onstage together. First Obama gets elected, now this? When will the miracles cease? Hopefully not before MIA snags a Grammy. Rolling Stone posted a pretty amusing interview with the guys (and gal) of The State here. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to call Doug, get $240 worth of pudding, and partake in a little monkey torture and ball-dipping. If you know, then you know. If not, what I just typed might get me arrested in some states, but not The State. And of course, this wouldn't be complete if I didn't beg MTV to release The State on DVD. Or Blu-Ray. Or Betamax. I guess iTunes will have to do for now.